When eliminating people from consideration as potential romantic partners, there are always few characteristics or behaviors lead me to judge others as unattractive. First is whether or not they are close with their parents or family, because I think that says a lot about a guy whether or not he is a family person. Second, is if they care about their future or not, because honestly as a girl, I just want security in life and if they don’t even care about their future then I don’t think I can have a future with them. Third, is that I want a sincere person so liar is a big fat NO. Duck’s theory make sense to me the part about cognitive cues because I believe that if two people want to be together for a long time values and beliefs are important, “In the long run, the extent to which values are shared and attitudes and beliefs are similar is a more important determinant of friendship than is physical appearance”(Trenholm, 2008, p. 160). Yes, I have eliminated someone by using a sociological or pre0interaction cue only to reconsider them based on interaction and cognitive cues later. When I met a good friend of mine in Asia, I didn’t think we could carry on this friendship even though I really like her, because we live so far apart. However, later I found out we share so much common interests and beliefs we started talking a lot online and on the phone. And the good news is, I will be moving back to Asia after summer and we can finally hang out like real friends.
Sogo,
ReplyDeleteI agree it is easier to look at what we look for in a guy rather than what we exclude in them. I also thought that Duck’s theory also made sense to me. It takes both to make things work in the relationship; they need to actually think before they act. In relationships what makes them long term is through their physiological connection. I also have eliminated someone because of those cues later on to reconsider them because of our psychological conection. That is cool that you actually went back to the friendship because you guys did in fact have so much in common. That is awesome that you will finally be able to hang out with her soon!
-Giggles